Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day can be a triggering event, to say the least. It’s easy to feel the pressure to plan something extravagant for your significant other, or on the flip side, have something to distract you if you’re flying solo.
However, V-Day doesn’t need to be a cause for concern or a reason to break the bank. According to dating expert, coach and matchmaker Carmelia Ray, Valentine’s Day is what you make it.
“Don’t feel like you need to make it significant. Valentine’s Day is all about marketing at the end of the day,” she says. “Every day can be Valentine’s Day. It’s great to celebrate, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s only significant if you choose to make it significant.”
Single on Valentine’s Day? Plan a Fun Day for Yourself
While it’s true that Valentine’s Day is just another day, it can still act as a tough reminder of your single status if you find yourself without a plan. If this rings true to you, Ray suggests planning a fun day for yourself so you can be your own valentine.
“If you don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, go do an activity,” she says. “Try going to the gym to be around other people and invest in your health. I love to take myself out, get a massage, or buy something nice for myself. Just have fun with it.”
Host a Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out
Ray also recommends arranging a girl’s or guy’s night out with your single friends on Valentine’s Day to keep feelings of loneliness at bay.
If you want to spend time with your girlfriends, you could participate in Galentine’s Day, a holiday dedicated to celebrating your friendships.
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Another option is to work on a creative side hustle or a work project you’ve been putting off so you can feel productive and remove the focus of the evening away from your relationship status.
Shift Your Mindset if You’re Single on Valentine’s Day
Ultimately, Rays says the way you feel on Valentine’s Day if you’re single (and the dating game in general) all comes down to your mindset.
“The last thing you want is to feel like no one wants you and you’re all alone. Those people who feel that way and then end up being alone with no plans and living in misery, that’s ultimately a choice,” she says. “You can choose to plan your day and choose your thoughts according to how you want to feel. It really is all a mind game. You either have to plan something in advance so the day goes by fast, or drop the significance of the day altogether.”
Reach Out to a Support Person
If you’re still struggling with feelings of loneliness, Ray recommends reaching out to a support person, whether it be a friend, family member, or a dating coach.
“Be sure you’re around people that inspire you. When people feel lost or unsupported that’s when they tend to focus on negative things,” she says. “Hire a coach or try working with a matchmaker. Focus on things that make you feel like you’re making progress in your life because very often when you’re busy working on yourself, that’s when the right person will show up. If you demand the best for yourself, it attracts the right kind of people.”
